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Hello, friends! I rarely post online, but I’m making an exception today to share some important news about myself and about my faith. I am both gay and Christian and have been on an incredible journey over the past 5 years to understand what that means.

I’ve landed in a theological framework sometimes labelled as “Side B,” which (for me) means that:

1. I find it helpful to use terms like “gay,” “LGBTQ+,” and “queer” to describe my experience (these last two are umbrella terms that describe a related range of experiences)
2. As I read scripture I am convinced by what is sometimes called the “historic” or “traditional” sexual ethic of lifelong, monogamous marriage between a man and a woman or faithfulness in celibate singleness
3. Because I am not interested in marriage, I am pursuing lifelong celibacy and depending on the church for intentional and supportive community
4. I am convinced that queer Christians like myself are uniquely poised to contribute to the life and health of the church
5. I believe that queer Christians are also uniquely positioned to express and embody the love of Christ for all Queer people (Christian or not)
6. My understanding of the doctrine of the Imago Dei articulated across all of scripture convicts me to act against any ways in which LGBTQ+ people are treated with hate, injustice, or the lack of a charitable spirit

I’ve been discerning “coming out” today for at least three years and have been undertaking a more formal and deliberate discernment process for the past 6+ months. This process has involved my family, my closest and most trusted friends, my church small group, my spiritual director, and my therapist.

I have been asked many times why I want to come out; there are at least a dozen reasons, but one of the most important is simply this – if church communities are going to be safe for LGBTQ+ people, it is critical that closeted Queer people (especially closeted LGBTQ+ youth) see that there are open, out, faithful Christians in their congregation who are committed to Jesus, regardless of secondary theological considerations. (This is important for non-Queer people, too!) In the case of those Side B believers like myself who are pursuing life-long celibacy, it is important for us to see the witness of faithful celibate, single people who are living fulfilled lives in church community. We need to be encouraged by witnessing Christ’s faithfulness to celibate LGBTQ+ members of the congregation in all seasons of life and in all levels of engagement in church community and leadership.

I am inexpressibly grateful for God’s kindness in preserving my life from the despair and suicide that is all-too familiar for LGBTQ+ youth. I am excited to see how the unusual, constrained, and yet beautiful path of my life will unfold before me.

A few final remarks:

1. If you are LGBTQ+ and thinking about harming yourself, please get support – crisis counselors at The Trevor Project are available to talk 24/7, 365 days a year.
2. If you are interested in learning more about the Side B theological framework for understanding faith and queerness, you can read more at this link: Bibliography.
3. If you are looking for a way to make a tangible difference in the lives of LGBTQ+ people, I would recommend making a contribution to Posture Shift. They are a 501(c)3 nonprofit that advocates for church inclusion of Queer people (especially vulnerable Queer youth) and offers support and training to LGBTQ+ youth, families of Queer people, and church communities. A number of Side B folks have partnered with Posture Shift in ministry.
4. If you are interested in discussing this theology and experience with me or if you have questions or comments, visit the guestbook and leave a (private) note via my Google form. I reserve the right to ignore any messages that are uncharitable, that are asking me to do extensive explaining of theology, or that I otherwise do not want to engage with. (There are extensive resources available at the Bibliography page). Time on Earth is precious and I know how I want to use mine.
5. If you are interested in “playing the Holy Spirit” in my life; leaving an unkind or uncharitable comment; or engaging in argument, debate, or contentious discussion, I will feel no remorse in deleting your comment.

“Thus said the Lord:
Keep justice and do righteousness,
for My rescue is soon to come
and My triumph to be revealed.
Happy the man who does this
and the son of man who holds fast to it,
keeping the sabbath, not profaning it
and keeping his hand from doing all evil.
And let not the foreigner say,
who joins the LORD, saying
‘The LORD has kept me apart from His people,’
nor let the eunuch say, ‘Why, I am a withered tree.’
For thus said the LORD:
Of the eunuchs who keep My sabbath,
and choose what I desire
and hold fast to My covenant,
I will give them in My house and within My walls
a marker and a name better than sons and daughters,
an everlasting name will I give them that shall not be cut off.
And the foreigners who join the LORD
to serve Him and to love the LORD’s name,
to become servants to Him,
all who keep the sabbath, not profaning it
and hold fast to My covenant,
I will bring them to My holy mountain
and give them joy in My house of prayer.
Their burnt offerings and sacrifices
shall be welcome on My altar.
For My house a house of prayer
shall be called for all the peoples.”

Isaiah 56:1-7 (The Hebrew Bible, trans. Robert Alter)

“Then Jesus said to those Judeans who had believed him, ‘If you continue to follow my teaching, you are really my disciples and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’”

John 8:31-32 (New English Translation)

Grace and Peace,

Peter

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